It’s no secret. For nearly 50 years, I’ve been coloring my hair. It all started in middle school when “beachy highlights” were achieved with lemon juice.  As an adult, I relied on professionals to lighten things up with an assortment of colors.  It’s not that I disliked my natural hair; it was just too dark for my pale complexion (think Elvira). Eventually, as I grew older, the primary purpose of salon visits was to cover the gray.

Yep, the gray.  It begins with small wisps around the temples and before you know it, it’s spread like unwanted weeds. Needless to say, I wasn’t a fan.  And, it wasn’t just the color; it was the texture. The wiry, unpredictable, kinks made me feel less like Elivra and more like Albert Einstein (I should be so smart).

Unfortunately, when it comes to gray hair, there’s an obvious double standard. When men transition to “salt and pepper,” they are perceived as wise and distinguished.  When women start to gray, they are often viewed as old mares, past their prime, and ready for pasture. Ridiculous, but true.

So, for 30 years, I’ve covered it. Highlights, lowlights, toners, permanent and demi-permanent dyes; I tried them all. And yet, never really loved the results. The color was typically too ashy, too orange, too streaky or just too fried. But… it wasn’t gray, and that’s all that mattered.

Then this thing happened. My hair started falling out. A lot. Everywhere I went, I left small puddles of hair behind. Strands covered my furniture, my clothes, the shower drain and even found their way into my food (yuck!). Before long, I had a small balding patch which immediately sent me surfing the web for hair pieces.

The dermatologist asked whether I had been sick (no), stressed (not since retirement), eating right (pretty good), coloring my hair (absolutely). Her advice: take a multi-vitamin and stop with the hair color.  Wait, what??

When I shared this news with my stylist, she looked horrified. “I can use natural hennas or vegetable dyes” she offered. And as tempting as those options sounded, I was committed to following the doctor’s recommendation in order to get my full head of hair back. “Well, the good news” she sighed, “is that you are only about 20% percent gray.”  Wow… This was big news to me. It seemed crazy that I had spent a small fortune and hundreds of hours in the chair for a mere 20% percent.

As I tried to accept a color free future, I looked to others for inspiration. According to Glamour Magazine, the “gray hair revolution” began during the pandemic with women learning to embrace their silver stands and powering through the transition. Model and actress, Andie MacDowell, graced the cover of magazines with her long, flowing gray hair and offered no apologies. Social media communities such as “Silver Foxes” and “Grombre” highlighted women across the globe celebrating gray as both liberating and empowering. It was time to reject the notion that a bottle of chemicals is necessary to look vibrant and feel beautiful.

So, how’s it going? Well, it’s been about eight months with no color. Some days, I love it and some days not so much. The best thing is that the bald patch is gone and the hair is no longer shedding like crazy.  There’s no way of knowing whether dye was the culprit, but I haven’t missed the frequent salon visits. Instead, I’ve gained a whole new appreciation for healthy, natural hair versus processed locks.

Will I keep it forever? I don’t know.  But here’s the thing… Retirement provides the freedom to fully be myself. I don’t have to worry that droopy skin or gray hair will prevent upward mobility. There are no concerns about daily wardrobe choices and what professional image is conveyed. While my looks are still important, it’s about what makes me happy. And believe it or not, I like the way the sunshine catches the gray and creates a sparkly halo. It reflects the glow of a woman who is content and living a life she loves.